my new look…

more on INFP (and drugs)

I was wondering about my personality type and substance use. Since ive moved to california ive tried drugs i regret doing and ones I fantasize about doing again. Ive become a bit of a psychonaught. So i recently discovered my personality type, an INFP, the dreamers, the idealists, the type that roots for the underdog, the hopeless romamtic… I truly am enigmatic and misunderstood. It was a relief to discover this especially as Ive been isolating myself and enduring a plethora of social issues I cant even begin to list or explain.

when i first tried shrooms i enjoyed the feeling, but LSD really appealed to my idealist nature and imagination and creativity. Now I know why I adore psychadelics and why Im going to become even more of a psychonaught. I’m still doing research into the likelyness of my love of tripping and my personality type but this makes sense to me.

" [–]sunshinesuperman 9 points 9 months ago
INFP and my favorite drugs are psychedelics. they evoke my sense of wonder, freedom, and creativity. my first few experiences with psychedelics showed me that this was definitely the path i was meant to go down. my favorite of these is lsd. it’s my wonder-drug. but i also love other psychedelics. mdma has really helped me bring the important aspects of my personality to the forefront. i also have all my own issues which mdma really helps me work around. but there’s definitely a darker side to all of this. i enjoy cocaine and alcohol because they’re my “fuck it” drugs. they bring me out of the death trap that is my own thoughts. i guess that’s a poor way to deal with things but it’s all about balance
[–]TommyC32 3 points 9 months ago
Fellow INFP here. Oddly enough I experienced the “I was meant to go down the psychedelic road” thought also. This was after my first trip ever, which was on mushrooms. I tripped alone during a tropical storm and for once in my life I felt like I had the world figured out. I spend the majority of my days just thinking and coming up with incredibly elaborate theories on life and the universe, and psychedelics proved to me that I had really only seen the tip of the iceburg. That everyday consciousness is just a tiny part of what life really is. I felt like I was always destined to experience these drugs and explore my own mind. It was a really eye opening experience for me and it was incredible. I would have to say my favorite drugs would be psychedelics (Including weed) and opiates. Weed is the only drug I’ve ever really used daily, but I got busted for possession a couple months ago and I’ve been drinking a lot more recently, which I hate, due to drug testing. Its kind of becoming a problem. I can’t wait till april when I’m done with all of that shit lol.
[–]sunshinesuperman 2 points 9 months ago
oh no way man, mushrooms were my first psychedelic as well and to this day, that was probably one of the most important experiences of my life. it just blew me away. and ya, weed has been my long time friend for many years. opiates are nice too, but booze and blow are the ones that help me unleash the ENFP that has been underneath the INFP”


I just found out my personality type and I’m so glad I took the time to figure that out. it makes so much sense, but even more importantly I think i can help better my current social problems.

"Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFP Success

Feed Your Strengths! Encourage your natural artistic abilities and creativity. Nourish your spirituality. Give yourself opportunities to help the needy or underprivileged.
Face Your Weaknesses! Realize and accept that some traits are strengths and some are weaknesses. Facing and dealing with your weaknesses doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are, it means that you want to be the best You possible. By facing your weaknesses, you are honoring your true self, rather than attacking yourself.
Express Your Feelings. Don’t let unexpressed emotions build up inside of you. If you have strong feelings, sort them out and express them, Don’t let them build up inside you to the point where they become unmanageable!
Listen to Everything. Try not to dismiss anything immediately. Let everything soak in for awhile, then apply judgment.
Smile at Criticism. Remember that people will not always agree with you or understand you, even if they value you greatly. Try to see disagreement and criticism as an opportunity for growth. In fact, that is exactly what it is.
Be Aware of Others. Remember that there are 15 other personality types out there who see things differently than you see them. Try to identify other people’s types. Try to understand their perspectives.
Be Accountable for Yourself. Remember that YOU have more control over your life than any other person has.
Be Gentle in Your Expectations. You will always be disappointed with others if you expect too much of them. Being disappointed with another person is the best way to drive them away. Treat others with the same gentleness that you would like to be treated with.
Assume the Best. Don’t distress yourself by assuming the worst. Remember that a positive attitude often creates positive situations.
When in Doubt, Ask Questions! Don’t assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback. If you need feedback and don’t have any, ask for it.”

So, he says:

i don’t know. i don’t want you to get hurt, but i like to hang out with you”

I’ve been “hanging out” with a guy who I randomly started talking to on Facebook for about a month and change now. I really like him and in the beginning (and even still) but apparently he just wants to be friends. I don’t know what to do. He has taken me out several times and every time we are together I have the most amazing time. He has taken me to the movies, we have gone to concerts, I’ve taken him to see plays and have brought him around almost all of my friends at different parties and what not. 

I’m hurting inside. I really enjoy being around him but I know if we continue I’m setting myself up for heartache. How do i manage this situation. Am I supposed to put my feelings away and take what I can get or should I end any form of contact? 

All I really want is for him to like me like I like him. Why is all of this so complicated. 

I’m ready to give up this finding my other half thing. I’m starting to truly believe that I might end up alone forever. Romance, love, and relationships are so confusing. Universe help me. Haven’t I suffered enough? 

Still Here

Also…. follow meeeee

So! I’ve been in SF for a year now. So much has happened and there is so much to tell. But overall… shit be real good!


The Walk (Final Cut) from gag mag on Vimeo.

“The Walk” by Jasmine McKay
A transgender woman’s thoughts on romance in the digital age.
This video is a commentary on hookup culture, the laws of attraction, and technology.

(Source: gagmag)


I go to school with these people? Oh…okay xD

Real talk, though, I was Tick Tock wasted last night.

And I WAS at Ray Ross when the night began hahahah

(Source: theperksofbeing-gabi)



Laura pointed this out to me from something she read:

   “WHY AREN’T PEOPLE SCREAMING WHEN THEY SEE SILENCE? They just kind of stare in horror. Could there possibly be some sort of thing with the Silence that you don’t scream, but just silently stand there and forget once you look away?

(Source: weather-in-my-bones)

Untitled from a dream on Nov 14th 2012

A little girl, nine or ten years old is running up, down, and around the home of her grandparents calling for her mother. Theirs is one of four apartments on the floor. Outside there are what might be typical city noises, but they aren’t. It’s night and there is the feint glow of streetlights and convenience store awnings, neon corona palm trees. The little girl exits into the hallway, the 6th floor, searching still for her mother. No one bothers to stop her. “Where is she” the child cries, “where?” She re-enters the apartment passing first through the living room where moments earlier there was a small gathering. The remaining guests, some familiar to the girl others perfect strangers; wear their fear unwittingly on their faces. They are flushed with worry, pale skinned, red eyed, and huddled around each other. It is as if they have nowhere to go. She remembers that look in their faces. Her mother’s face was home to such a look when they were being evicted. This is why they had come to stay with grandma and grandpa. She remembers how her mothers face went limp with defeat. It seemed as if her beauty had slid off, the soft rounded parts puffed and turned ugly. She hugged her mother then, telling her it was all going to be O.K and wrapped her arms tightly around her slender waist.

Earlier at the gathering there had been a rumbling and the building shook, there were shrieks and people ran. They were having a holiday party. It was after Thanksgiving but before Christmas. It was somehow convenient for all of the guests. There were those who worked service jobs, nightshifts at hospitals, or other such inescapable schedules. They had families to support, mouths to feed, or habits to fund. The little girl had been watching something on television in the room she and her mother shared when the screen went all static and then the annoying emergency broadcast screen appeared. This annoyed the little girl, assuming it was only a test as it so often was. She jumped up and went to find her mother to ask for some eggnog. That’s when she noticed she was missing. The little girl didn’t know that her mother had gone downstairs with a man. She didn’t know that her mother was smoking a cigarette and flirting with an old acquaintance of the family.

The girl made her way past the sulking guests and toward her grandparent’s room where she heard voices from behind their closed door. She knocked, remembering that it was the polite and respectful thing to do. Her grandpa had once scolded her when she entered unannounced. He rushed toward her grabbing her by the shoulders and shook her slightly speaking from behind his tightly clenched teeth, “Don’t you know its rude not to knock, little girl!?” He let her go as she fell back from the threshold and shut the door. She heard drawers slam shut as her grandfather scrambled around the room.

“Come in” she heard her grandmother say from behind the closed door. Her voice seemed distant and weak. It was not a welcoming invite, but an empty one. The little girl pushed the door open, revealing the bare white walls of their room. She entered. Her grandmother sat up in the bed as the grandfather stared eerily out the window. Flashing lights danced across his face. The girl crawled into the bed and lay next to her grandmother. She looked up at her face and saw the same expression as the guests. Tears fell out of the old woman’s eyes and onto a bible that lay open on her lap. “Where is mommy” the girl asked. She too began to cry, wailing in long echoing rounds like a banshee. Her grandfather stared blankly into the street, a dilapidated urban scene. The sidewalk decimated and through the rubble he could see a train car erupted, like lava from a volcano but a solid silver mass. The sky was blood red and dark thick clouds moved rapidly across it. The little girl overheard her grandfather say under his breath “this is the end.”

just a sketchbook pro doodle

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